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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24996334">A happier version of Arthur meeting Bruce</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArthurFlecksGirl/pseuds/ArthurFlecksGirl'>ArthurFlecksGirl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Joker (2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Family, Gotham, Mental Illness</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:48:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,513</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24996334</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArthurFlecksGirl/pseuds/ArthurFlecksGirl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>From Arthurs point of view</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Arthur Fleck/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A happier version of Arthur meeting Bruce</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I`m on my way.<br/>
Not long until I will get to see my family.<br/>
The family I didnt knew I had.<br/>
Thomas Wayne. My father.<br/>
I`m still shocked about the fact that Wayne is my dad.<br/>
Penny never spoke about my dad. All she said was that he went out for a pack of cigs and never came back.  But she never told me that this man was him. She always handed me the letters to send them, because she doesnt leave the house by herself. All this time I held letter to my father in my hands and I had no idea. I`m still not sure how I could ever forgive her the fact that she never told me. Its killing me. How many times did we watch v together, and she always got excited when he came up. She wouldbe like "Look, Happy. Thomas Wayne is on tv" and she would talk about him all the time. Withot ever saying a word about him being my father. I feel so left out and lonely. To her id didnt even mater how much I longed for a father in my life.  Someone I could look up to. Someone like Murray. How wonderful would it be to feel the hug of a father? To hear a father say taht he is proud of you? A dad who laughes at my jokes would mean the world to me.And maybe I could have had it, if Penny would have told me. If she would have told me when I was younger, I could have tried to meet him and talk to him way sooner. I`m 35 now and I feel ike I lost so much time to spent with him.<br/>
Is it too late now?<br/>
I imagin him being a little shockes at first, but I also picture him hugging me with happy tears in his eyes, telling me how sorry he is for all those lost years and that he couldnt be happier about the fact that I was looking for him and that he wants to have me in his life. Or maybe just a hug. A hug would be enough to make up for all these years. A little bit of warmth from my dad.<br/>
I will give my best to be a good son. One he can be proud of. I´ll tell him that I took good care of Penny all those years and that iI`m paying rent  and make the household. And that I love my job. Thats a good thing , right? To love your job. Many people ae stuck in work they hate. But I really love my job. I know I got fired but I will find a new job as a party clown.  I dont miss the guys from Haha`s anyway.  I hope dad likes clowns. I hope he likes my jokes. Oh I can`t wait to tell him some of my faeve jokes. I`m so afraid he won`t get them. I feel like many people don`t. And I haven`t figured out why yet. I always take my notes when I am at Pogos and try to imporove myself. I try my best. I really do. I wanna be a good clown. And a good son. And I wish I could also be a good boyfriend. But thats another story.<br/>
Oh, and not to forget....<br/>
A good brother!<br/>
I just found out that I have a half brother half an hour ago, when I was looking at the newspapers. I was reading the article about Thomas and thats when I saw him. A little boy. Maybe about nine years old. His other son.<br/>
I hope there is a chance to not only meet Thomas, but my half brother,too.  This would be amazing.<br/>
I am an older brother! Imagin that. This sounds so good. I will take care of my little brother and make him smile! I will tell him some jokes and he will laugh until his tummy starts to hurt and call me his big brother. We will be best buddies. Oh I can`t wait to  meet him and tell him who I am.<br/>
I hope it will not be too much for him. Maybe I should wait a little while until I tell him who I am. Maybe he should see me as a friend first? Or maybe not. I dont wanna start with a lie. I am not like my mum.<br/>
With every step I get closer to where Thomas lives. I`m kinda nervous but in a good kinda way. Full of hope. There is this chance to hava a family that is happy to see me. Happy to get to know me. I will not disappoint them.<br/>
I finally arrive.<br/>
There is a boy playing in the garden all by himself. It must be him. he looks exactly like the one in the newspaper.<br/>
There is a wall between me and him, not very high. He saw me. I get down on my knees so I disappear from his sign and put my red clown nose on. I brought it with me. Of course I did.  Making him laugh is my main goal.<br/>
I appear again. He watches me. Thank god he`s watching me. I catched his eye. Thats good. real good.<br/>
I make me funny walk and make it appear like I am getting smaller and smaller. I know he is still watching . I can feel it. God, it feels so good to be seen.<br/>
I am almost never invisible to kids. They always notice. Thats why I love them. They`re not ignorant and cold hearted like most of their parents. But sadly they will become a copy of them if you just give them enough time.<br/>
I hope my half brother is different. I belive he is. I feel it in my guts.<br/>
I stop by the gate that is seperating me from him and Thomas` home. You can tell that this is where the rich people live. Bruce is standing pretty close to me now. Watching me. The clown nose made him curious. I suceeded. He is wearing fancy clothes for a little boy.<br/>
For a brief moment I feel like I dont belong here. So outta place with my worn out clothes. The same clothes I have been wearing since high scool. They look way too big on me. Can he tell that I don`t have much money? Does he care abut that? I hope he wouldnt be effected by my clothes. I really, really hope he will judge me by my jokes and magic tricks only.<br/>
He waits for me to do something.<br/>
I´m in my clown role, plaing with my magic wand. Acting like I`m trying to put a spell on him. he watches me closely but its hard to say what he is thinking.  He looks kinda serious for a kid of his age. That makes it even more important to make him smile. Oh please smile, brother.<br/>
I act like my wand doesnt do its duty and hand it to him. This will break the ice for sure. I havent said anything by now. I want him to get to know the clown first. The wand gets all soft in his hands and I cant help but chuckle. He gives me the wand back and I make it straight again, knocking it against my head. Knock knock. I sing a little melody and do my playful dance right before the flowers are popping out of my wand. I smile for him and hand him the flowers. He eccepts them, which makes me feel good.<br/>
I get closer to the gate and put off my big,red nose.<br/>
"Hi" I say softly "Whats your name?"<br/>
I cant wait to know his name. How is my little brother called?<br/>
"I`m Bruce" he says.<br/>
"Bruce...I`m Arthur!"<br/>
Oh I like the sound of his name. It sounds like magic to me. His hair looks similar to mine. he kinda looks like I looked at his age. The rich version of younger me. The version that had a better life. Anything I never had. Yeah. Its obvious, we really are brothers.<br/>
I wanna see him smile.<br/>
He´s still so serious.<br/>
I take my fingers and put them to the corner of his mouth. And lift them up.<br/>
There it is.<br/>
He is smiling.<br/>
I smile myself so he can see what I need to see on him.<br/>
"Thats better" I whisper.<br/>
Bruce breaks out in laughter.<br/>
I did it!<br/>
I did it!<br/>
I broke the ice between us.<br/>
I pull my fingers out of his mouth.<br/>
"You`re funny, Arthur!" he says and I can feel my heart jumping out of my chest. He thinks I`m funny!<br/>
I can feel my eyes watering.<br/>
"Are you crying?" he askes<br/>
"Me? Nahh...I`m....I`m not crying, Bruce. I was just thinking of a joke thats so funny I tried to hold back my laughter. And sometimes when you do that it`s hard to hold back the tears."<br/>
"I know." he replies. "It happened to me before. But that`s long ago. I dont have much to laugh about  here. My family isnt as funny as you are."<br/>
His family.... he mentioned his family...<br/>
Oh I am dying to tell him that I am his family,too.<br/>
So his family actually is fun, right? At least part of it.<br/>
My hopes are rising.<br/>
Oh sweet, little brother. I will tell you soon.<br/>
"Can you tell me what it was?" Bruce askes.<br/>
"What do you mean?"<br/>
"The joke you were thinking of?"<br/>
"Ohhhh! Sure!......"<br/>
I put the magic wand begind my back and try to think of a joke.<br/>
I`m kinda nervous so I have to think for a moment.<br/>
"Why do clowns wear loud socks?"<br/>
Bruce awaits my punchline.<br/>
"To stop their feet from falling asleep!"<br/>
His face lights up "Oh, thats a good one. I have to remember this in scool and tell the other kids."<br/>
I can´t belive what he just said.  I feel something floathing my heart and I think it could be happiness. Its definitaly something I have never truly felt before and it feels amazing. I need to feel this more often and I want to make others feel like that.<br/>
"Will you tell me if they thought it was funny afterwards?"<br/>
"Of course, Arthur. I will do that. Do you know more of these jokes?"<br/>
I play with the flower wand behind my back "Yeah...many of em. I do write my own jokes. I keep them in my journal."<br/>
Bruce`s eyes just got bigger "Thats so cool."<br/>
I smile. Its a real smile. I can feel it inside. One that not only reaches the corner of my lips but   my heart.<br/>
"Do you have your journal with you?"<br/>
"Yeah, I always carry it with me. Its in the inner pocket of my jacket."<br/>
"Can I see it?"<br/>
I am so overwhelmed by his interest in me. But just as I want to give him my journal I remember all the images of naked woman in it. And the dark stuff. I´m kinda embarrassed about it now. What kinda guy am I?<br/>
"Um...I dont have it with me right now" I lie to him "But I can show you some other time".<br/>
I will write a new joirnal just for him. With children friendly jokes in it. One without all the blacked out pages and thoughts about death and suicide. Thats not something I want him to see.<br/>
I want him to be happy and light hearted with me.<br/>
I want him to like me.<br/>
I need him to like me.<br/>
"Oh I see" Bruce replies "Yeah thats okay. "<br/>
"Hey Bruce" I kinda whisper this to him "Do you wanna go get some ice cream? I know it seems strange that I just show up here but there is a reason for me to visit you and I promise I´m a good guy. You can tell your father that I am here and ask him if its okay to take a walk through the park with me. I will talk to him and I am sure he will let us go together. How does that sound?"<br/>
Bruce takes a look over his shoulders "Um....actually my father`s not home right now..."<br/>
I am not sure if he is telling the truth.<br/>
"I`m sure it will be okay to go to the park and get soe ice cream. You seem like a nice guy and I really like you. I will bring you to my dad afterwards if you want?"<br/>
"That would be nice!"<br/>
My little brother smiles as he opend the gate.<br/>
"He looks at me while e`re heading to the park "Hey Arthur, I like your hair. It looks like mine. Except that mine is not that curly."<br/>
I pet the back of his head "I like your hair,too. You know... I kinda looked a lot like you when I was your age".<br/>
"Really?"<br/>
"Yeah"<br/>
"How old are you now?" Bruce takes the magic wand and plays with the fake flowers.<br/>
"I`m 35"<br/>
"Wow"<br/>
"You think I`m old, right?"<br/>
"Kinda..."<br/>
I cant help but laugh. Kids are so honest and pure.<br/>
I tell him some more of my jokes as we walk through the park and he is laughing at each one of them. I cant remember anyone enjoying my jokes so much. I left out the jokes about death and stuff. I was very picky to choose which one to tell him but I think I did a great job.<br/>
Bruce askes me to do a little clown act for him, so he sat down on a bench and I start to do my dance I use to do as Carnival, when I am working at the childrens hospital.<br/>
"If you`re happy and you know it clap your hands...."<br/>
Bruce is clapping his hands to the rythm of my voice. I put my red clown nose back on and people are staring and I love it. I am being seen. The funny clown that makes a kid laugh. And everyone can watch. I`m the light of Gotham city. And I will shine as bright as possible.<br/>
I dance until I am out of breath and sit down beside him.<br/>
"That was soooooo good. I like your nose!"<br/>
"You should see me in my Carnival costume!"<br/>
"Your what?"<br/>
I point at my jacket "I am wearing a colorful outfit as Carnival. Its my clown name at work.  And a big green wig with some puffy curls and big shoes.And a little hat. .... And can you belive that there is a song named after me?"<br/>
Bruce smiles from ear to ear "I need to see that! And I need to hear that song! They named it after you?"<br/>
"They did" I whisper in his ear "I mean....that guy on the radio sings- My name is Carnival- and I dont think this is some kinda coincidence.It must be about me. Right?"<br/>
"I guess so! Wow, thats so cool, Carni....I mean, Arthur! You`re so cool. When I grow up I wanna be like you. Telling jokes and doing magic tricks. That would be awesome".<br/>
Its hard to hold back the happy tears. One is already running down my face. I cant help but to hug him tight. I hope that doesnt scare him away. But I just have to.<br/>
I can feel his small arms hugging me back and its the best feeling in the whole world.<br/>
I think I gotta tell him now. There is no time to waste.<br/>
"Bruce?"<br/>
His arms are still around me.<br/>
"Yes?"<br/>
"I have to tell you something....I told you there is a reason I  visited your fathers place, right?"<br/>
I feel him nodding. He doesnt let go of me.<br/>
I hope he will still hug me after I told him.<br/>
"Yes Arthur"<br/>
"So....I guess there is a reason why your hair looks like mine and why you kinda look like a kid version of myself"<br/>
Bruce lets go of me and looks me in the eyes "Why?"<br/>
"I`m...well...I`m your older brother"<br/>
"What????" Bruce  jumps off the bench. I shouldnt have said something. WEe got along so well. He was the only friend I`ve ever had since Alex Day back in my childhood.<br/>
"I`m sorry to shock you. I know I might seem strange. I always do. People think I`m a creep. I shouldt have told you. I`m so sorry..." I stand up and run away.<br/>
"Arthur! Stop!" my brother runs after me. "Please come back. Don`t go!"<br/>
He wants me to stay? I slow down.<br/>
"Arthur, please!"<br/>
I stop. Bruce is standing beside me.<br/>
"Why would you run away after telling me?"<br/>
I run my fingers through my hair. My leg starts to shake.<br/>
"I....I dont know... I thought you want me to go!"<br/>
"Nooo. Why would I. I dont think you`re my bro. But I wish you were!"<br/>
"Oh Bruce. I am!"<br/>
"How?"<br/>
I just found letters my mum wrote to yor dad.They say that I am his son. So you`re actually my half brother. I swear I didnt knew since now. Otherwise I would have been there long before today. I always wanted a brother. Family. A friend. Anyone."<br/>
I get nervous. I must look like a crazy man.<br/>
Bruce looks like he is thinking hard about something.<br/>
"So its true...."<br/>
"What do you mean?"<br/>
"I have heard my father whisper about an abandoned son two years ago. He was talking on the phone to I dont know who. And I asked him about it but he got angry and told me I should forgot about it and that I misheard something."<br/>
"Oh my god...."<br/>
"Yeah...so I belive you. You`re my older brother. Thats amazing!"<br/>
He hugs me again. Its the best feeling.<br/>
"We will have so much fun together" he yells and I can hear the joy in his voice.<br/>
"My older brother is a party clown!"<br/>
I feel myself smiling from ear to hear. The kinda smile I use to paint on my face. Only that its a real one. Maybe I never have to force a smile again. I never knew a smile can feel this natural.<br/>
"Yeahhh. I will try my best to make you smile all the time! I know so maaaaany jokes and magic tricks and I can teach you many tricks if you want".<br/>
"Oh yes! Please."<br/>
I grab a baloon out of my pocket and ask him what his fave animal is. He likes cats.<br/>
"Cats are my fave animals,too. Look!" I make him one of my baloon animals. Thank god I can do cats! I dont wanna disappoint him. Baloon animals are my speciality. They always make the kids smile. I hand it to him as its finished and he presses it to his chest "Thank you. I love it!"<br/>
We decide to get some ice cream now. And just as Iwe are standing in the ine, I realize that I only have two dollars in my pocket. He can tell from my face that soemthing is wrong.<br/>
"Whats wrong,brother?"<br/>
"I am so sorry, Bruce. I only have two dollars left and I wanted to buy each of us a BIG ice cream. But I can buy you two scoops. What flavous do you want?"<br/>
"Um...thats no problem. Two scoops are perfect. Maybe...vanilla and melon?"<br/>
I buy him the ice cream and we walk though the park together.<br/>
"Hey Arthur, I really wana share this with my older brother!" he says and hands me the ice cream.<br/>
And thats what we do now. Sharing.<br/>
I love the word sharing.<br/>
It sounds just as beautiful as it truly is.<br/>
It feels so good to share.<br/>
Its one of the best freeing really.<br/>
Right after tight hugs.<br/>
I totally forgot about Thomas Wayne for the last minutes.<br/>
This is already enough to make me happy.<br/>
Sharing an ice cream with my little brother.<br/>
And he likes the fact that I am a party clown.<br/>
"Hey Bruce"<br/>
"Yeah?"<br/>
"You know... I dont wanna be a party clown forever, as much as I love it. I wanna become a famous stand up comedian. And when I am ready for the big clubs, I will take you with me on stage! I mean...I will teach you how to tell jokes first. I mean...If you want to...."<br/>
Bruce eats the last bit of his ice cream and hands me the cone to take a bite.<br/>
He looks at me with admiration and takes my hand as he whispers<br/>
"You know what, brother? YOU ARE THE BEST!"</p>
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